Rebranding?

So, I've been giving the blog a lot of thought lately and the more I work with it, the less satisfied I become.

RMC was, admittedly, a quick fix. At the time, I was leaving a blog behind that no longer seemed to fit me (combined with stalker issues and a very nosey and judgemental landlord) but I desperately wanted to blog.

While all of this was happening, ravens were making a huge impact on my life, moons are always a big part of my life, and I wanted my own little "corner" of the blogosphere. From those elements, RMC was born.

I've told myself, even though I considered myself a "life" blogger, to keep my "real" life seperate from my "online" life, but as time passed, I found that the things that mattered to me enough to blog about, were very personal, and very much a part of my life. As I've come to embrace my personal identity as a domestic witch, my online identity began to change with it and now, my real life identity and online identies are beginning to merge.

Yesterday's post title "News From The Dragon's Lair" was actually a bit of a typo. It should have said "News From Rayven Moon's Corner", but in addition to being a blogger, I'm also a journal keeper (for those things I've considered too private for the blog), and in my journal, I refer to our home as "The Dragon's Lair". It was one of those absent-minded errors that I didn't even catch until later in the day.

I call our home The Dragon's Lair for a few reasons. First, there's Draco, my mate. His totem is the dragon and he very much embodies the spirit of a dragon. He has a inner fire when he's passionate about something that translates into his artwork (he's an artist), he also has a firey temper that can leave a person reduced to embers when he's angry (which thankfully, isn't often).

Second, our "house spirit" is a dragon and his spirit is the one we call on when we ward our home. I feel this is a good fit, since dragon's are well-known for protecting their home and what they treasure.

And third, the home of a dragon is called a lair, and like dragons, our home is where we "horde" the things we value.

Naturally, being surrounded by so much dragon energy, it's rubbed off. Being the matriarch of our home, and the mate of a dragon, it's also been necessary for me to develop a relationship with these energies myself. Our home is covered in dragons, with plans to incorporate them even further into our home.

My "mistake" did, however, get me thinking. Obviously, it was second nature to type that out, so much so that I didn't catch my mistake until hours later.

When I finally did catch it, I considered changing the title and republishing it, but who does that? Who republishes a whole post because of the title alone? Not me, I'm too lazy for that.

Besides that, I haven't really begun my campaign to get the blog off the ground, so my traffic is pretty much flat-lined at this point anyway.

I doubt that this move and rebranding will really effect anyone other than me at this point, but just in case, I thought I'd offer up this post on the off chance that I have a lurker or two I'm not aware of.

The new blog will be under the name The Dragon's Lair, or something similar (won't know for sure until I try to make it). I will keep the same twitter account and just change the name. I will make a new fb page though because I can't change the original url and that's already been bugging me. I will still write under a "pen", but it will probably be different.

The new blog will be about everything. Me, my family, Witchlet and Draco, domestic paganism, my business...everything. "A Domestic Witch blogging about Home & Hearth". I even intend to finally open up about loosing my family when my mom passed last year, being a victim of abuse and domestic violence, drug addiction and mental illness. All things that have, and continue to shape, who I am. I'm planning "no holds barred" blogging and the very concept leaves me breathless. All of this in addition to blogging about being a domestic pagan in general and the things I'd already planned around that topic.

While RMC has been a comforting place to rest my weary head, it has served its purpose, and I know it's time to move on to bigger and better things. I hope to see you there!

Blessings,
Rayven

News From the Dragon's Lair 3-24-13

This week was Ostara and we did...nothing, really.

I mean, I had already decorated the altar at the beginning of March, and Spring Cleaning was mostly done last weekend,  but the date snuck up on me and I'd already bought groceries and such, so there was no Ostara dinner as I'd hoped. Draco was tired Wednesday night, so we didn't do the house blessing and smudging I'd planned either.

In addition to all that, my recent decision to fully embrace Domestic Paganism and to create a path based on it got put on hold while some mundane and marital problems were sorted out, so I wasn't exactly prepared. I know I'm on the right path though because I'm becoming increasingly drawn to Hestia, a home and hearth goddess and She seems to be everywhere I look these days. This is going in a very similar fashion as when Hecate presented Her offers to assist me with my Shadow Work (which is still an ongoing process, by the way).

A lot has been going on around the Dragon's Lair, and for a change, a lot of it seems positive.

Draco's hours are gradually improving. I can always gage the actual beginninng and end of the warm and cold seasons here by Draco's checks. He works constuction laying water lines for utility companies. His job is completely done outdoors (which to an old Druid like him is a gift and blessing), so the weather often has a hand in his checks.

Our sinuses have been really giving us fits. I have chronic rhionitis, which is year-round allergies, but when the pollen count is up, it can be almost bad enough to cause health concerns. My "cough-due-to-congestion" is ferocious. Seems like my chest is congested 24/7 and the coughing, though only occasionally severe, is not always productive. I'm worried that I should be taking or doing something for it (other than steamy baths to help break it up) but in addition to being in a financial transition, we're also in a medicinal one.

I'm in the process of switching us over from OTC medications to herbal and homemade remedies but I haven't had a chance to lay in a stock of supplies yet. I'm even out of my herbal medication for my anxeity, and I've been treating anxiety herbally for several years already. A little flurry of bills caused me to put it on hold, but I think I'm going to have to take the plung soon and start looking for something to treat my allergies (and possibly congestion as well now), in addition to some kind of pain reliever for Draco's back pain and my headaches.

I've found a couple of new blogs I think I like (one of which has given me some new perspective as well as enthusiasm) and PBP (I think that's the one) is under new management and I'm really starting to like it.

I did some brain-storming for the blog recently and liked the direction I seem headed in there, now if I can just get internet at home so I can begin building my blog, we'll be in business.

Draco and I spent most of the week arguing and finally got to the root of things yesterday. I think we really hit on some good points and I feel like I'm moving in the right direction personally as well.

Even though things aren't perfect at the Dragon's Lair, I feel like we are finally gaining forward momentum in so many ways.

I still worry about Witchlet, but things seem to be getting a little better, so I'm hoping things will work out for her.

It's been a chilly and rainy weekend here in the Deep South. I think Old Man Winter left a window open when he made his exit last week. Between bouts of rain though, the birds are celebrating and things really are beginning to look more green outside, so I know Spring really is here, even if it doesn't feel like it.

What's going on in your neck of the woods?

Blessings,

Rayven

Paying Dues

There's a saying, "Nothing worth having is free". I don't know who originally said it, but I do know that there's so much truth to those 5 little words. There is another saying, that "Everything comes with a price" that I'm also finding particarly true right now.

Sometimes, when we are given something we have asked for, we are asked to give something in return.  Sometimes, at least in my experience, we're asked for something that seems like a sacrifice, but most often, I'm left feeling like I need to prove my gratitude and worthiness of the gift.

Before the move, our situation was so stressful, so...bad, that I found myself engaged in regular prayer and communion with Diety, asking them to help us find the right place, the right environment, for our struggling family. Asking Them for Divine guidance. I listened very intently for a response in every way I possibly could and a stroke of rare good luck landed us where we are today.

Our family exists below the poverty level. Not low enough that we can qualify for any type of assistance, but low enough that most weeks, we struggle to make what little we have stretch until the next check. I often find myself shuffling bills to make ends meet and even then, it often isn't enough.

Since we moved, the Lord and Lady seemed to be asking for us to prove our worth yet again. It's been a balancing act, and some weeks have been downright scary. Our State Income Tax check should have come weeks ago, but we are still waiting. It's money that we've desperately needed, but They seem to feel that we needed to do things without it.

So far, we have. Draco's hours, which often become non-existent in the winter months, are beginning to pick up again. I've shuffled, and re-shuffled, our bills and budget until I've almost gotten our financial situation in hand. That's not to say we have a lot left over, but the bills are getting paid and we're eating. Sometimes, that in itself is a victory.

I feel like this has been an intended time of struggle in return for the help we were given. As hard as it's been, I feel it's necessary to our growth in some way.

I'd love to say that I've meet this challenge with nothing but grace, but I'm human, and although I could lie on here and no one would know it was a lie, that's just not me.

The weeks we've done without have been stressful, I've cried in frustration and shook my fist at life at times. I've searched the night sky, fighting the urge to ask Them why it has to be so hard. Many times, knowing I was paying my dues was the furthest thing from my mind. I'm not proud of the moments that I moved through this experience with less grace than I should have, but again, I'm only human, and sometimes life overwhelms me.

I do feel that thankfulness is something I don't always practice as often as I should, so I'd like to take a moment to express my gratitude.

Even though he can often be one of the most frustrating and infuriating people I have ever known, I am thankful for my soul-mate, friend, and husband, Draco. Without him, life would be dull, colors less vibrant and my sanity would surely have fled by now without his grounding Taurus energy and the fiery passion of my dragon's embrace.

Although they have caused me more pain than I ever believed possible, I'm thankful for my dysfunctional family and the lessons my relationships with them have taught me, especially the lesson of standing alone, on my own two feet. They are the reason for my bond with the Wolf spirit of my Native American heritage.

I am thankful for Witchlet, who often makes me question my abilities to parent such a stubborn and strong-willed child. She has taught me the practice of patience, even when I thought I had none left and through my struggles in parenting, I learned to walk more closely with the Goddess as I often found myself begging Her for the strength to survive being a mother.

I am thankful for the people who have come and gone in my life. Each taught me a lesson about myself, life or human nature. Those lessons were sometimes hard to learn and often left me with pain, but they were valuable.

I am thankful for my home and the creature comforts I am blessed with. As frustrating as it often is to do without things at times, I am aware that there are many people who have much less than we do that would do anything to have what little we have.

I am thankful for the small handful of women I am blessed enough to call friends. They are scattered all over the place, but each of them hold a special place in my heart and have taught me the value of acceptance without judgment and unconditional love. Without them, without the sister-hood I experience with them, I would truly be lost.

As strange as it sounds, I am thankful for my ex-husband. He gave me one of greatest gifts, and challenges, of my life -- Witchlet.

Through his abuse, I found an inner strength that I may have never known I was capable of. I learned that love does not always mean forever and that loving someone does not mean valuing them above myself. I learned that sometimes you have to know when to walk away from things that no longer serve you.

Last, but certainly not least, I am thankful for my spirituality and for the presence of the God and Goddess in my life. Through Them, I learned to love myself, how to experience gratitude and how to reconnect with my own spirit. I also learned that life is neither black nor white, but shades of grey. I learned that I could love the light parts of myself only by embracing the dark parts.

I learned that one of the most important things in life is being honest with myself about myself, even when it doesn't make me look good.

I learned that the things you don't appreciate can be taken away as quickly as they were given and that anything worth having, is worth fighting for.

I also learned that in spite of my nurturing heart, that I can't fix other people. I can only fix myself.

I'm sure as soon as I click "post", I'll think of other things I should have included, but I feel I have covered the most important things this morning.

I truly believe that we should all take the time to practice gratitude in our lives. What are some of the things you're grateful for? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

Blessings,

Rayven

Deciding What's Important

Ever so often, I think it's healthy to enter a stage of introspection and self-evaluation. This process allows us to look at ourselves more clearly, to assess our lives and decide what works and what doesn't.

During my recent blog and social media silence (mostly silent, anyway), I have been going through just such a period.

Life has improved greatly, in so many ways, since our move a month ago, but as the external stress evaporated, I found myself, at first, grasping at old habits and routines. Tried and true methods of living that have served me well -- or so I had thought -- for years.

One of the things I returned to was the FlyLady system.

I have fluttered and flown, using her wonderful system of babysteps and the mantra "You can do anything for 15 minutes" for more years than I can count. Her system helped me get control of household clutter and develop habits that continue to serve me well even now.

I have come to realize though, that although certain parts of her system contine to serve me, that other parts of the system do not.

The key to the system is to set a timer for 15 minutes and accomplish tasks as quickly as possible. For people that detest doing household chores, there is an immense logic in this approach. For me, however, I realized that I have been training myself to rush through tasks that, for me, need to be a more leisure activity.

Part of the reason I began to focus on household witchcraft is because I enjoy the process of caring for my home and family. It brings me satisfaction to have people compliment me on my home, in any fashion, be it a compliment on the cleanliness, the decor, or the overall vibe.

Granted, when I began the FlyLady system, I didn't enjoy housework. Raising Witchlet, who has learning disabities as well as emotional challenges, and helping a close friend raise her 3 special-needs children, I was often over-whelmed by my home. The house was out of control and the thought of bringing it to heel seemed huge. FlyLady helped me get a handle on things and also helped me to find the joy in my role as Domestic Diva, and that led me to seek out Domestic Pagan practices.

I suppose you could say that the FlyLady helped me find my spiritual path.

Even so, now that my house is under control, I find myself reluctant to rush through my daily chores.

As I began the "Weekly Home Blessing" hour earlier this week (another FlyLady trademark), I found myself feeling skittish and nervous. After giving the source of these feelings some thought I realized that to me, a "Home Blessing" should have a very different feeling to it.

I love the concept of the FlyLady way, but I don't want to rush through it. Rushing means that I'm setting aside the "blessing" part and it becomes just a flowery term for cleaning.

As a Domestic Pagan, the very act of caring for my home is spiritual. If I'm rushing, I'm not actually "blessing" anything.

So, in my true eclectic fashion, that is one area of my life where I'm taking the parts that work for me and leaving the rest.

That's one of the beautiful ideals of Paganism, in my opinion. The concept that it's perfectly ok to run out and learn all types of things, from every aspect of life, and keep what works for you without feeling stuck in rigid rules, concepts or ideals that don't serve the person you want to be.

Even at 38, I'm still learning and growing. Still adjusting and adapting the person I want to be, and I'm ok with that.

Of course, this isn't the only change I've been embracing, but it is one of the most relevant to this blog.

Have you experienced or learned something and then decided that it (or parts of it) no longer serve who you want to be?

Blessings,

Rayven

Consolidating

I posted to my old Facebook page this morning that I'd be changing it over to reflect a page for this blog soon and although I had intended to wait until I got internet at home to do it, I'm impatient once I make up my mind, so I went out in search of wi-fi today.

The fanpage originally created for this blog (and the blog itself) was made from an alternate Facebook profile I made when I was having problems with a nosey and judgmental landlord, under the pen name (for lack of a better term), Rayven Moon. I no longer have to worry about her and keeping up with multiple profiles, plus pages, plus other social media and a blog, was proving to be too much for me. I do spend a lot of time on social media, but constantly having to set the same updates in multiple places was overwhelming. Eventually, I just stopped almost everything, including blogging.

Of course, I've come to accept the fact that I am a blogger at heart and that even if my posts just chronicle the randomness of my life, I'd rather be blogging than not, so it didn't take me long to figure out that I had spread myself too thin -- a bad habit of mine -- yet again.

So, I loaded the laptop in the car and found some wi-fi and set to work.

The fanpage that once belonged to my Phases of Me blog, and that was created from my actual Facebook profile, was still active. Since I do almost everything from my phone and am usually logged in to my main profile, I'd found myself sharing things to the Phases of Me fanpage. Logging out of one profile, logging into another, hunting the same information to share on the fanpage there then having to log out, log in again...well, I think anyone would agree it was just too much.

I wasn't able to change the URL for the fanpage (it still says Phases Of Me), but I was able to change everything else. The URL bothers me a bit -- I'm just OCD enough to want everything to match -- but I'm trying to live with it.

Fixing the Twitter link was a little more difficult (it doesn't tell you what you're doing wrong, only that there was a problem connecting), and it took me a while to figure out I had to unlink both Twitter profiles, then re-link the right one, but I think I finally got it right.

In the end, it was a productive day and now I'll be able to keep up with everything a little easier, I think.

Serious blogging, the type that requires research and linking, and blog-hopping will still be difficult, but at least I'll feel like I can post when I want to for now.

Hopefully, internet at home will happen by sometime next week at the latest and I'll be able to really get back in the swing of things.

Until then, I think this will do.

Merry Part,

Rayven

Jumping In and Out

Everything keeps changing so fast that it's hard to keep up.

We moved last Friday and Friday night, Witchlet left to spend a week with her fiancee. She came home this past Friday night, only to moan about how much she missed him and going on and on about him wanting her to move in with him.

She left home, the first time, when she was 17 and only moved back in last December. After over 2 years, Draco and I had finally adjusted to being "empty-nesters", so having her come back home was a big adjustment for us. It's taken us most of the nearly 3 months she'd been here to adjust again.

Yesterday, she called him and had him come back after her and she left to move in with him. So, our little Witchlet has jumped on her broomstick and flown away again.

When we were looking for a place to move to a few weeks ago, she had tried to convince us to get something more expensive, based on her promise to help with bills when she found a job and we opted instead for something we knew we could pay ourselves. Now, I'm so glad we didn't let her talk us into anything.

This morning, I sat down with the bills and when Draco got up, we sat and talked about our new situation. We'd both been so stressed until this last week, and although Draco would never ask her to stay, I could see the worry starting to brew behind his eyes. I laid out our financial situation to him, which wasn't as bad as I think he feared, and offered him some options.

We finally settled on a course of action that we hope will get us where we want to be and I could almost watch the worry evaporating from his eyes. I have to admit that I loved being able to set his mind at ease for a change.

I will be reopening the business I started last summer so that I can work from home and try to help him. I will be spending part of this week going through the supplies I have here and converting what would have been Witchlet's room into a work room. In the process of this, I need to come up with some sort of inventory and bookkeeping system so that I know what I'm doing and I can save receipts for next year's taxes and be able to track my sales and expenses. I will also be setting up seperate financial records for the business.

Suffice it to say, I'm going to be a busy woman while I wait for taxes to come since I'm going to need to make a small investment to get running again.

So, that's what's going on in our neck of the woods right now. What changes are 2013 bringing your way?

Love and light,

Rayven

Nothing Serious

I've put doing serious posting, requiring research and such, on hold for the moment. We moved last weekend from an extremely stressful situation into a very comfortable one.

Witchlet has been out of town since Friday night and I've had the house to myself when Draco is at work. Honestly, we all needed the break. Prolonged stress will cause families to fight, even when they don't mean to.

Right now, I'm just focusing on putting my house together, making arrangements to get the rest of our stuff from storage and getting my nerves back under control.

Hopefully in the next few weeks, we'll be getting internet (I'm doing everything from my phone right now), or I'll find time to go sit where I have wi-fi and get some stuff done. We'll see what happens.

Know that we're ok, I'm still here (sort of), and I'm not planning to go anywhere.

Namaste,
Rayven