Left-over stress

My life went into a tail-spin last Wednesday when I saw a side of my landlady I'd never seen and realized that living on the same street as her just isn't working. I was left feeling as though my entire life and everything I am had come under attack. Since then, I have pretty much "gone to ground".

I'm not afraid to stand up for myself, but when the person in question could render your family homeless with a wave of her hand, sometimes it's better to restrain yourself.

I can't deal with another round with her without saying anything, so I've been staying locked up in the house hoping she just leaves me alone.

While dealing with "house arrest" (that's what it's felt like), I did manage to start some basic classes in Celtic Spirituality. I'm excited, but I have to admit, the very first assignment almost made me throw in the towel.

It's not that the topics are overly hard or anything (so far), but apparently, everything is going to end in writing a paper. Like a college-type paper. 750 word minimum. I'm not sure what I expected from online classes, but somehow having to write a bunch of papers wasn't it.

After talking to one of my BFF's about it last night, I am much calmer than I was about it, but I still have this paper to write, and this will probably be the easiest one. The rest will be a topic that I have to write about, including doing a bunch of research.

In high school, English was my best, and strongest subject, but let's face facts here, high school was 20 years ago and the closest I've come to "writing a paper" in those 20 years is blogging. Blogging is an outlet, not a "paper" and no one is grading me on my blog posts.

It doesn't help either that the reason I'm even taking classes is because I know next to nothing about Celtic Spirituality, so I'm completely outside my box and my comfort zone, so all I have to build from is my pagan knowledge.

I kept telling myself yesterday that maybe this wasn't the best time to start classes. Witchlet is still job hunting, we're under a good deal of financial stress at the moment, my landlady has me stressed beyond words and we're looking to be moving as soon as humanly possible to relieve a lot of that stress. Then I asked myself if there's ever really a "good time" to find yourself so far outside your comfort zone on so many levels. There's not.

Looking back, I suppose learning something new has always been nerve-racking in some ways. Learning something new that could very well change the course of your life, even more so, and I feel somewhere deep inside that I am taking the first steps on a path I was meant to follow, but that it will be life-altering in some way I can't define yet.

I'm hoping I just have a bad case of "new school jitters" and that it will begin to fade as I move further into my studies and develop my "paper writing skills" again. If not, then perhaps I can reassess from there.

I'm realistic enough to accept that my first few papers will probably not be strokes of literary genius, but I'm also stubborn enough to know that I can't just give up without even trying.

Perhaps those reading will be gentle in their criticism and I will find an additional learning opportunity that will improve my writing skills which will benefit not only my class progress but also my life skills as well as my blogging.

I never intend to turn my blog into an academic source. Although I've been encouraged throughout my life to take on a role of teaching or authority (pagan beginners in my real life have asked me to take on the role of priestess and I was encouraged in high school to become a therapist), I've never personally felt the calling to teach or to tell others how to live their lives, but I can see how improving research and basic writing skills could improve my blog as well.

I write from a place of personal experience alone, rarely quoting or referencing others, but maybe that could one day bring added benefits to those who read my words here. Who knows?

So, today I will spend some time trying to bang out a few coherent words to add to my paper. I've given the topic a few days to stew, so this morning I will reread the article, and what I've already written, and go from there. We'll see what happens. Wish me luck!

Rayven

The Path of the Druid

I have sensed a change coming for a while now, but I was unsure what direction this change would take me in. This blog was part of me feeling that impending change.

I felt compelled by forces outside myself to begin anew rather suddenly. I listened based on my faith alone.

I thought for years that I was happy with my muddled path.

I began this journey at the tender age of 19 after a nervous breakdown and the loss of everything I held dear left me incapacitated and questioning everything, including God and my Christian upbringing. It was not the first time I had questioned the religion I was raised in, but it was the most significant.

A friend, who had always known I was different, just as she was, came to check on me and when she left, she left a copy of Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham. It was the first time I'd heard of paganism or Wicca.

Back then, not everyone had a computer and internet access and the "New Age" section of bookstores in the Bible Belt were not well-stocked. Wicca was just becoming recognized as a true religion, so information was still very limited.

Some 5 or 6 years later, I realized that the New Age section had grown and I began to devour everything I could find.

I became what I considered "Eclectic" as I began to learn more and more about differing paths. My heritage (Cherokee and Celtic) continued to call to me, but in those days, there was precious little knowledge on either topic available here.

As I found anything on the Celtic path, I tore through it, but never felt like I could get enough information to begin a new path or even find a direction to go in.

I did, for a number of years, Co-run a cluster of MSN groups and one of our group managers happened to be Celtic. I spent a lot of time at her group soaking up whatever knowledge she offered.

She now has a lovely group of her own, with another lady we met through the MSN groups,on another server that I still peek in on from time to time.

About 5 years ago, I experienced another breakdown due to a personal crisis between Draco and myself and I shut down. All thoughts of my spirituality relegated to the "when I get through this" file.

Then, a few months ago, we moved away from all that and a dear friend and sister of the heart, came to me for guidance and advice and the conversation began to touch on my spiritual beliefs. Totems and power animals specifically. I felt compelled to research some things and found myself once again submerged in pagan information.

I decided to reopen my previous blog, with the intention of making it "pagan" but I had been connected heavily to the Mom Bloggers, most of which were Christian, and I felt reserved when I tried to speak of my beliefs. Many of them were good ladies and I had no desire to offend or push my faith on anyone, so the blog stalled once again.

I suppose I'm a blogger at heart because I just didn't feel "whole" if I didn't have somewhere to share.

I began reading again and went to the library. They carried one book on the Celtic path and I checked it out despite it's childish title.

Right after I checked it out, I got the "start over" message. I set up the blog as I began reading.

Yesterday, I realized that I had been seeing a lot of things about Druids lately. An online school in particular, only mentioned by three letters. ADF. I kept running across blogs where people called themselves ADF Dedicates.

A search led me to a site with a title in Irish that I couldn't begin to pronounce. I hesitated because I'd recently read of Druid groups that only allowed people in that could prove a heritage link to the Celts in some way.

I know my heritage, but couldn't begin to know how to "prove it". I can't speak any of the languages, I've never been there, I know precious little of the culture.

I know I'm descended from the Welsh on my biological father's side, but I'm not even sure who or when the first immigration in my family happened. (Would you like to chat with my family? I'm sure they can tell you I'm both Cherokee and Welsh, which is one of the cultures associated with Celtic heritage...)

I read on out of curiosity, thinking since I'm solitary anyway, maybe I could piece together enough information to do as I've always done and make my own path.

As I read, I realized that although proof of heritage might be required by some, it's not required by all, and not by ADF. They have a $25 per year membership fee for the school, though, and although I believe it's completely reasonable, I won't have it to spare until after we move.

I kept looking, but it's bookmarked for taxes and for Draco, who is also Celtic, to check out.

I ended up at a site called Druid's Circle, which offers a free limited membership and some basic classes. I figured I can check them out while I wait and if I'm not happy, when we move and I get reliable internet, I'll pay the $25 to join ADF.

My heart is finally finding some peace spiritually as I begin this path. I'm certain, with every fiber of my being, that this is going to change me. I don't know how or how much, but I can feel the vibrations of change tingling around me.

Bear with me as I learn, as I said, my knowledge of my heritage on this side is even more limited than that of my Native American heritage. It's going to be a process.

Wish me luck!

Have you ever changed direction so completely that you knew it was going to change everything?

Namaste,

Rayven

Do Witches Pray?

This morning, I was researching the goddess Brighid, partly because Imbolc is right around the corner and partly because since I embraced the fact that I am a Hearth Witch, I've felt a certain connection to her (she is considered a hearth goddess, among other things).

While reading, I found myself at About.com. (I seem to end up there a good bit when I'm researching something Pagan.) And while looking for Prayers to Brighid, I happened to find this article on Pagan Prayer.

While reading, I recalled a conversation I had with my dad shortly after Mom passed. He was making generalizations about what he thought my religion was and I was giving him information on what it is I actually do and believe.

Both my parents were raised Christian, so it's no surprise that prayer, a very important part of the Christian faith, came up. I was dismayed to learn that my parents thought I didn't pray.

I explained to him that I couldn't speak for every Pagan, or every faith that falls under the pagan label, but that I most certainly do pray. Daily.

The article above addresses the difference between payer and spellwork, stating that when we pray, we're asking for the help of whatever we call divinity (divine intervention), when we do spellwork, we're not asking for help so much as we are attempting to manipulate the energies of the universe to bring us what we want.

Personally, I believe spellwork and prayer often work together, but maybe that's more about technique and intention.

Using Brigid as an example, if I were to feel that my family and/or home needed protection, Brighid would probably be my go-to goddess. Now, I would probably stand at my altar, burn some incense and a candle and ask Brighid to watch over my family, to offer us her protection. To me, this is a type of prayer, and a method I find myself using often.

Depending on the situation, though, I might find myself feeling the need for something a little more powerful than prayer alone. That is when I would sit down with my lists of correspondences, gather materials, and do a more formal protection ritual. I would still call on Brighid in my ritual and ask her to aid me in protecting my family. I believe that invoking deities in ritual is also a type of prayer.

Not all spellwork calls on deities, and I feel that there's no set guideline for petitioning a deity vs not, in spellwork. It's a personal choice. But, I feel that if you do call on them, even in ritual, that there is an element of prayer involved.

As usual, this is just from my perspective. I'm sure there are people out there that believe differently than I do, and I'm not saying ALL Pagans pray. I'm sure there are some that don't, but as for this witch, I do pray as part of my daily practice.

So what about you? Do you pray?

Namaste,

Rayven Moon

Sunday Catch-Up 1-20

Forgive me for my absence but I've had a lot on my mind the last few days, but nothing I cared to feed energy to in a post.

Let's get on with the catch-up and you'll see.

1.  This week, I started this blog, with a familiar look, but a very unique feel for me.

2.  I began to explore my faith in-depth and on Monday and Tuesday my posts about Ethical Spellcraft and Hearth Witchery reflected that.

3. A few misplaced words on Wednesday and a disagreement on Thursday with my landlady over politics, parenting and religion set the tone for the weekend.

4. After an argument Thursday morning with Draco and relating the events of my day to him at lunch, the decision was finally made that we are going to have to move when we get taxes.

5. Much time and energy this weekend has been devoted to planning the immediate steps we need to take and when.

6. I began a daily card pull once again on Saturday and today, I combined it with my horoscope to create a "personal daily forecast" of sorts. It helped in getting me refocused and ready to begin posting again.

7. Today's post comes late because Draco returns to work tomorrow and I wanted to devote some time to my family today.

8. I'm going to have to work on my daily routines again because I have gotten so far off my game lately. I've added a few things here and there and it's got me all out of wack.
9.  Time-management is something I work hard at, mainly because I suck at it, so my routines are crucial to my daily productivity.

10. One look at my to-do list from last week tells me I failed miserably, but I'm cutting myself some slack. It was a rough week (did I miss Mercury going retro???)

11. Landlady's stunt hit me right smack in the middle of the waxing moon, which shouldn't surprise me. It's the phase when things start coming to a head every month. As the full moon grows closer, all my loose ends tend to start tying themselves up in preparation for the next level of things, which for us, will be moving and all that goes with that.

12. There are no guarantees, but I hope to be moving by the next waxing moon phase so that maybe I can have us settled before the next full moon.

13.  Imbolc celebrations will be minimal this year. I'm hoping to be able to do more by Ostara, which is our first "grilling holiday" of the season.  For Imbolc, I will light some candles I have on hand to honor the return of the light and I'd like to get the stuff to make a big salad with yummy veggies and a fruit salad. Not exactly "traditional fare" but it will do.

So, as you can see, it's been a crazy week for me. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to set a dependable blog schedule to help me stay focused.

Namaste,

Rayven Moon

Domestic Witchery

It occured to me after a statement I made in my last post, Ethical Spellcraft, (and a conversation with Witchlet) that I might need to elaborate on something.

I stated that even though I've been a practicing Pagan for nearly 20 years, that I rarely practice Spellcraft.

While that statement is true in the context that I don't cast a circle and call the quarters very often, it's not quite true in a literal sense.

I do practice magick, just not in a formal way.

As Witchlet and I discussed, I am a Hearth Witch. I practice magick everyday, but to me, it's in such a mundane way, -- and so integral to who I am -- that I often forget that it is still magick.

Let me elaborate. I sweep the house daily, whether it looks like it needs it or not. Why? I'm "sweeping out negativity" that may be lingering from someone's bad day, a disagreement, stress or worry, or even the energy put off from bad dreams. That, is Hearth Magick.

When I do laundry, I'm cleansing our clothes of any negative energy that may be clinging to them. That is Hearth Magick.

When I do my morning devotionals and offer a word of protection for my family as they move through their day, that is Hearth Magick.

I could go on and on about how I prepare meals with certain herbs and spices to promote whatever energy my family needs or how I always "mop up emotions" after someone has been very upset and how I dust to clear out our mental and emotional cobwebs. The list could go on forever.

In truth, I am very active in magick, just not in "formal" spell work.

How do you practice magick in your daily life? Do you tend to forget, like I do, that it's still magick?

Namaste,

Rayven

Ethical Spellcraft

I've noticed a lot of "newbies" floating around lately asking questions (mostly on Facebook) about doing Spellwork and thought I might address my views on ethical Spellcraft here.

Admittedly, I don't personally practice a lot of Spellcraft myself. You may be wondering why that is, since I've been a practicing Pagan for nearly 20 years, and the answer comes back to ethics.

Although I'm a long way from my Wiccan roots now, I still believe that the Wiccan Rede -- shortly summed up to "An it harm none" -- is a good rule to live by.

That's not to say that I don't believe in protecting myself when needed, but I've rarely found a situation where aggressive/invasive spellwork was actually necessary.

Let's take the popular topics of bindings and love spells as an example.

Bindings, as I understand it, are generally performed in an effort to protect yourself from the words or actions of someone trying to inflict harm. In extreme situations, such as physical abuse, I can see where the appeal lies to perform such a spell, but, a binding, done improperly, can --and often does-- backfire.

The backfire is often binding said person to you, instead of offering you the protection you seek.

So, what can you do if someone deserves to be bound, without performing a binding?

Different situations call for different measures, but as a general suggestion, I would first perform a self-protection (or home protection, depending on the situation) ritual and then look into reflective spells.

Reflective spells, basically, bounce a person's karma, actions, etc, back to them, causing them to suffer whatever negative intentions they had, on themselves. If you believe in the Law of Karma, this is usually their karma times three. This is just a starting point, and if this doesn't work, then you progress to more aggressive actions from there.

And? If you are in a situation involving physical abuse, never forget to take the necessary mundane steps as well. Call the cops, tell someone that can help you. In short, get help and get out.

Love spells. This topic makes me a little irritable in that a person looking to perform one has one of two problems. Either they like someone who doesn't like them back and they're wanting to change that, or they're in a relationship and feel that the person no longer feels the same way about them and they're trying to prevent said person from leaving.

Either of these situations throw up red flags for me because they interfere with the free will of another person. In my opinion, there's never a good reason to interfere with free will, unless it is for self-protection.

The only type of love spell I would personally consider is more of an "attractive" spell. There's nothing wrong with casting on yourself to make you feel more attractive or appealing. Again, don't forget the mundane. Get noticed. Flirt. Ask them out!

The basis of anything, including spellwork, is the mundane work.

Do you actively practice Spellcraft, and if so, where do you draw the ethical line?

Namaste,

Rayven

Getting Started

Some of you might recognize my logo from a different blog. If you do, then congratulations on being a fan and thank you for following me here! If not, then no worries, I'm still glad you're here.

After playing around with my other blog for a while, I decided I needed a fresh start and the gods agreed.

Last night, I was sent this blog in a dream with a clear message to "start over", so that's what I set my mind to this morning.

As you can see, there's not really much here yet, but that's going to be changing over the next few days as I finish filling out profiles and getting my name in all the places it needs to be, so be patient and keep checking back.

Links for things will continue to pop up as I get organized, but for now, you can follow me on Google+ through the profile link or on Twitter @rayven_moon. Thanks for stopping by!

Blessings,

Rayven Moon